The Case of the Missing Bride- Arthur Baxter and Harriet May Bell

In former blogs, I told the story of my maternal grandparents, Arthur Baxter and Harriet May Bell’s romance, long engagement, and finally their marriage.

Harriet May was known by her friends and family by her second name, May. May’s father, John Bell had instructed  Arthur that his new bride had been raised as a lady, and she should not be expected to live in a bush camp as Arthur and his mates had done for the four previous years.

When the couple reached Murwillumbah, Arthur decided to ride out to Chillingham to visit friends from Camden, the Doust family. Several members of the Doust family had moved to the Richmond River just after the turn of the 20th century. Young Bert and Edwin Doust, who were about Arthur’s age, had taken up land at Chillingham, on the Tweed. They had cleared a few acres and built a slab hut. Two of their sisters, Emily and Olive, also lived with them. Arthur thought  May might be able to stay with the Doust girls until he could find a suitable house to rent.  Consequently, Arthur left May at the Murwillumbah hotel while he went on his mission.

However, in the hotel dining room that night, May met Mr. Harry Grant, who had just brought his wife, who was very ill,  to Murwillumbah, to have their sixth child. He had called at the hotel, because of a terrible storm, but he informed May that he had to leave early in the morning for his farm at Mt Burrell, about twenty miles away in the bush. He had left the five young children at home with a friend, who not only was keeping an eye on the children, but had nearly 100 cows to milk by hand. He was worried about their safety, as although neighbours had promised to keep an eye on them too, a couple of young aboriginal men in the district had proved troublesome.

May was very concerned, particularly for the young children, the youngest not yet two years of age, should be left so. She insisted that she should go with him to care for the children until their mother’s return.

The falls on the South Arm near Grants Farm- Original owned by Nola Mackey

 

The Grant selection was on the Rous or South Arm of the Tweed River. The selectors in the area were clearing the scrub to plant pastures for dairy farming.

The Grant home at that stage was little more than a bush slab hut with added rooms as the family grew. (It was further around the hill and closer to the creek than the Grant homes today. Years ago you could see the house stumps under a big old Moreton Bay fig. The old road wound around the hills rather than following the creek as it does today).

May had to learn to cook in a camp oven over an open fire, which she had never done before. She never had the cooking duty at home. Her sister Ollie did that.

She had to make her own yeast for the bread for the family and ‘workers’. These were young men clearing the scrub on Grant’s Selection.

Years later she would entertain her granddaughters with stories about her many cooking disasters during that time.

Water was heated for bathing the children and washing the clothes, in buckets made from 4-gallon kerosene tins precariously slung over the coals. The water was hauled from the creek in those same buckets. Wash days were an all-day affair with that sized family.

It was at the Grant home, Arthur found his bride a week later. Although Arthur had made the arrangements for May to live at the Doust’s at Chillingham, as planned, she refused to leave the Grant children in such circumstances. So the couple stayed with the Grants for several weeks, and May undertook the duties of caring for the children, cooking, and other household chores until Mrs. Grant’s return home.

Arthur, who had been brought up on a dairy farm was able to milk and could assist Harry Grant with other farming duties.

Rous or South Arm of the Tweed River near Grant’s Farm-

Original owned by Nola Mackey

 

There were times when the men were late returning to milk the cows in the evening, and May was required to help milk, although she had no experience. Much to the amusement of the menfolk, not only at Grant’s but other farms in the district, she arrived at the milking bails in full dress, including a clean and freshly starched kitchen apron, stockings, court shoes, and make-up.

Years later some of these men admitted to May that they had bets amongst themselves that she wouldn’t last a month farming and would return to Picton.

In fact, she adjusted over time and outlasted them all. She went on to farm with Arthur in that area for nearly fifty years despite floods, droughts, fire, and wartime restrictions.

They were still living on the farm when Arthur died in 1959.

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The Case of the Missing Groom – Arthur Baxter and Harriet May Bell

In former blogs, I told the story of my maternal grandparents, Arthur Baxter and Harriet May Bell’s romance, and their long engagement because of Harriet May Bell’s mother’s opposition to the marriage. The couple had to wait until she was twenty-one.

 

Finally, Harriet May Bell turned twenty-one in January 1912, and arrangements were made for a Spring wedding to take place on 27 September at St David’s Church of England, Thirroul.

 

Early in 1912, Arthur Baxter had returned to the north arm of the Tweed River where he was employed helping farmers clear scrubland to plant pastures for dairy farming. By then he had been working for four years and was saving his money to be able to select land for his own farm in the area.

 

However, land in that area was in short supply as most surveyed land had already been selected by 1912. Those blocks which had not been selected were on high rough land without water. All blocks were subject to a ballot system so many hopeful farmers missed their opportunity.

 

Arthur had not been successful in getting a block, but he had his eye on a couple of farms, where the families were talking of selling up and moving to Cooroy in Queensland. He would just have to wait.

 

Meanwhile, Harriet May was busy in Thirroul making wedding plans. Her Aunt Emma was making the bride’s and bridesmaid’s dresses for Harriet May and her sister Olive.

 

Time marched on and the wedding invitations were sent out in August to family and friends.

One of the family treasures I have inherited is an original wedding invitation that had been sent to Aunt Emma. It reads:-

 ” Mr. and Mrs. J Bell, requests the pleasure of Miss E Bell’s company at the Marriage of their daughter Harriet May, to Mr. Arthur Baxter, on 27th September 1912, at 1 pm Church of England, Thirroul. An early reply will oblige. Afterward at ‘Wyuna’, Thirroul.”

It would soon be time for Arthur to pack up and journey south for his wedding. The journey was rather complicated, but he had done it several times before when he returned home for Christmas.

 

Arthur needed to collect a cheque for his wages from his employer; ride his horse more than ten miles over very steep and difficult terrain to Murwillumbah; stable and pay fees at a livery stable for his horse until his return; catch the train to Byron Bay; catch the coastal steamer to Sydney and then catch the train from Sydney to Thirroul.

 

In August all seemed fine as the shipping notices in the newspapers read:-

” Sydney-Byron-Bay-Tweed.

Wollongbar leaves Byron Bay, Saturday 7-30 pm, and Sydney Tuesday 11 pm.

Orara leaves Byron Bay, Tuesday 7-30 pm, and Sydney, Saturday at 9 pm via Newcastle. Calls at Coffs Harbour.

These steamers will make every effort to connect at Byron Bay with Monday’s and Thursday’s trains for Lismore, Casino, Grafton, and Murwillumbah.”

 

However in September just as Arthur was preparing to make his journey south, the following notice appeared in the newspaper.

“The Wollongbar went into dock this week and the Orara took up her running from Sydney on Tuesday, and returns from Byron Bay. The Cavanbar will run two trips in the Orara’s place after which the latter vessel will resume her usual time-table running.”

 

Living in the bush meant that Arthur had no knowledge of this change until he arrived at Byron Bay. There was only one voyage open to him, the Cavanbar on Tuesday, 22 September. The big Spring tides and southerly swell meant the Cavanbar could not come alongside the Byron Bay jetty and use a  gang-plank for the loading of passengers. They had to wait until all the goods were craned aboard and then a large basket was attached to the crane and the passengers were lifted aboard, a few at a time. A slow and difficult process.

When the Cavanbar finally got underway, she called at Coffs Harbour, and then Newcastle, on her way south. This meant their arrival in Sydney was delayed.

Cavanbar at Coffs Harbour loading passengers.

The picture was found at

https://www.flickr.com/photos/anmm_thecommons/8387928033

 

Unfortunately, the groom, Arthur Baxter was not at Thirroul at 1pm on 27th September 1912 to be finally wed to his childhood sweetheart, for whom he had waited for four years. What a terrible disappointment for all concerned.

When he finally arrived in Sydney he sent a telegram to Thirroul. Although everyone was happy to greet him on his arrival in Thirroul, it was not a simple matter of getting in touch with the Church of England minister and having a ‘later’ wedding ceremony. The Rev Phillip Dowe lived in Bulli, a few miles away. His parish included several villages and towns on the South Coast, one being Thirroul.

That very week he was playing host to an important guest in his parish. The Bishop who was conducting Confirmation services throughout the parish. So the Rev Dowe was unable to go back to Thirroul to conduct the wedding a few days later.

The young couple reckoned if there had not been a hitch in the transport arrangements they would have been married on the 27th. They decided to continue life accordingly as husband and wife.

They had a short honeymoon on the South Coast and then went to stay at Arthur’s parents at Clifton, near Picton. His father was not well and wanted to retire from farming. While there Arthur helped his parents purchase a property in Argyle Street, Picton.

The church wedding was rescheduled for Monday 27th January 1913, at St David’s, Thirroul, and finally took place as planned. The Rev Phillip Dowe was the officiating minister. A formal wedding portrait was taken in the church. ( I have inherited the original.)

 

The young couple then took the train to Sydney, where they stayed overnight and boarded the Wollongbar on Tuesday 28th for Byron Bay.

It was the first time Harriet May had been to sea and she was dreadfully seasick. Their cabin remained empty, while she curled up on a deck-chair outside the women’s saloon, with one of the ship’s fire bucket beside her. Arthur sat by his wife’s side.

The voyage was very rough between Newcastle and Byron Bay “on account of meeting a strong wind” and the couple was forced to go inside. The sun rose to a clear Thursday morning, although the ship was over an hour late arriving at Byron Bay.

 

The couple then took the train to Murwillumbah and stayed in a hotel in the main street. Arthur collected his horse and rode to Chillingham to make living arrangements for his new bride. When he returned to the hotel a few days later, all he found was a note addressed to him. Harriet May Baxter was gone.

Now it was the ‘Case of the Missing Bride”. However, THAT is another story.

More than a Certificate – Arthur Baxter and Harriet May Bell

Many family historians collect the birth, death, and marriage certificates of their ancestors thinking that they tell the story of their lives. However  I  believe, that one document does not tell the story of an event.

We are also advised when writing up our family histories to allow the facts to speak for themselves and let the reader draw their own conclusions. Fifty years of experience has taught me not to always believe this is so.

Let us take the marriage certificate of my maternal grandparents Arthur and Harriet May Baxter (nee Bell). According to their marriage certificate,(a full copy of which I purchased from the Registrar of Births, Death and Marriages (Sydney), they married at St David’s, Thirroul on 27 January 1913.

Church of England images of Sydney Diocese, retrieved from ancestry.com website 1 April 2020

That is all fine until you know that their eldest child was born at the end of July. The first conclusion one might jump to was that he married her because she was pregnant to save her reputation. A reasonable assumption perhaps in Edwardian Society before World War I.

However, the true story of this couple’s marriage is much more interesting.

Arthur Baxter, the fourth son and sixth child of James and Margaret Baxter (nee Kennedy) was born in 1888 at Picton, New South Wales. His parents and grandparents were pioneers of the district.

Harriet May Bell, the fifth daughter, and sixth child of John and Alice Bell (nee Sherwood) was born in 1891 also at Picton. Her parents and grandparents were also pioneers of the district.

Both Arthur and Harriet May were baptized at St Mark’s Church of England, Picton.

Arthur Baxter grew up on the family dairy farm at Clifton near Picton and worked at farm chores from an early age with his father and brothers. He attended Clifton Provisional School which was situated on the Baxter property.

The farm at Clifton was run by his father with the help of his seven sons. It was likely that the elder sons might inherit the farm or at least have some pecuniary interest while the younger sons were expected to work for their ‘keep’ until they reached their majority of 21 years when they might expect to have some kind of monetary allowance for their work.

Arthur Baxter met May Bell at St Mark’s Annual Sunday School picnic about 1906 and fell in love with her. At the time he was about eighteen years of age, but with no prospects, and she nearly sixteen but not allowed to go out unchaperoned and certainly not with a farmer’s son.

Arthur suffered from asthma and it was believed to have been aggravated by working near cattle. The cold Picton winters did not allow his health to improve as the years went by.

Arthur knew if he was to have any chance of winning Miss May Bell he had to leave the farm and find employment to earn the money to make his own way in life.

Early in the 20th Century, Crown land was offered to selectors on the upper reaches of the Tweed River, in northern New South Wales, particularly at Chillingham on the North Arm and Kunghur on the South Arm. These land opportunities were advertised in various newspapers including ‘The Farmer and Settler’. It is believed this is how the young men in the Camden and Picton area knew of the land being offered for selection at Chillingham. A number of young men left the family farms and struck out on their own. If they had the money they took up their own block. The Doust brothers of Camden were ones that took up a selection there. Another family from the area was the Todd family.  They were from Elderslie, Mt Hunter, and had grown up with the Baxter family. Those young men who didn’t have the money to select or buy went to find employment by assisting the selectors to clear these blocks for dairying, thereby gaining the money to buy their own farms. Arthur Baxter and his mate Lock Nicholson fell into this category.

Early in 1908 Arthur Baxter, Lock Nicholson, and several other young men from the Picton district went to the Tweed River. They caught the train to Sydney, where they boarded the coastal steamer, Orara. (Probably as steerage passengers to save money).The Orara left Sydney about 9 am on Saturday and arrived at Byron Bay early on the following Monday morning. They then caught the train to Murwillumbah.

Murwillumbah had been settled many years before and by 1907 was a bustling town with hotels, post office, courthouse, and numerous other shops, businesses, and houses. However on the 15 September tragedy struck the town, when it was virtually burned to the ground by a raging fire. By the time Arthur and his mates arrived early in 1908 the town was being rebuilt, and there was an air of optimism.

At Murwillumbah, the men hitched a ride with the mail-man who delivered to the district three days a week.  Chillingham or Bean Tree as it was known, was a creek crossing on the road to the Queensland Border, which was a few miles away.  Here the young men gained employment as planned by helping the selectors clear the heavy scrub so they could plant grasses for the grazing of dairy cattle. The surrounding farming district was known as Zara.

One of these selectors was William Growcock, an Irish immigrant who had arrived in Queensland in 1891. He was in the Chillingham area from about 1900, officially selecting in 1904 and adding to his block in 1907. He employed Arthur Baxter and his mate Lock Nicholson to clear fell the scrub on his second block.

[Spoiler alert- Forty years later Arthur Baxter’s daughter Margaret married William Growcock’s son, William. This couple were my parents].

Although hundreds of miles apart, Arthur Baxter and May Bell’s romance blossomed throughout 1908 as they corresponded regularly. In one of those letters, Arthur wrote to May and told her ‘the boys’ (Arthur and his friends) would be home for Christmas and asked her to meet the late train from Sydney at the Picton Railway Station, on a certain day, as it was very important. May asked her father to accompany her to the station, as it was late evening and she was only seventeen and wouldn’t be turning eighteen until the following month. Young ladies did not go out at night unchaperoned. When they met at the station, without a word Arthur grabbed May’s left hand and slipped a sapphire and diamond engagement ring on her finger. (She always maintained that Arthur may have asked her father for her hand in marriage, but he didn’t ask her). Arthur had just turned twenty-one years a couple of days before.

Picton Railway Station from State Rail Authority Archives Photographic Reference Print Collection, retrieved 1 April 2010

May Bell’s mother, Alice Bell, was not keen on the union because several of the Baxter boys had a ‘weakness in the chest’ (asthma) and she didn’t want another daughter saddled with an invalid husband as her second daughter, Alice had been with Amos Kiss.

However, her main objection was because of Arthur’s mother’s family- the Kennedy’s- ‘had madness in the family’. Arthur’s maternal grandfather, Gilbert Kennedy had been in Parramatta Asylum for the Insane for nearly thirty-six years when he died in 1903. His widow remained in the Picton area until her death in 1912, and everyone knew the family and their ‘troubles’.

May Bell’s mother refused to give her consent to the marriage, hoping she would find a ‘better match’. May’s father, John Bell, also had certain reservations as Arthur had not yet earned enough money to take up a selection of his own and build a home. The beautiful ring he had purchased in Sydney, had taken much of his hard-earned cash of the first year of scrub-clearing.

As May was still underage and needed her parent’s permission there way only one thing they could do. To wait until she was twenty-one. It was going to be a long engagement.

World War II Experiences on the Home Front- Bushfires

Halfway through 2019, the topic of conversation among friends, family, and neighbours was ‘the drought’ and how it’s protracted nature was bringing so many close to ruin. Everyone was looking for those Spring showers and early storms. However, they didn’t arrive and within days there was only one thing on everyone’s mind – ‘the fires’.

For us, the fires began in August. A farmer several kilometres away was burning off when gale-force winds sprung up and drove the fire directly towards us. Within the hour the fire had raced through several kilometres of bushland and was threatening several homes near us. Fortunately, we had the Rural Fire Brigades, water-bombing planes and many friends and neighbours with fire- fighting equipment all throwing everything at the raging fire. They were finally successful in defending our homes and properties and brought it under control. We were the lucky ones. Over the next weeks and months, others to the north and south of us lost everything- homes, businesses and even lives.

We had bushfires through the area in 1993 when several neighbours  lost sheds and outbuildings as well as pastures, but none of us could compare that fire to what we faced in August.

That week in August was a defining moment in our lives which changed everything.

 

Our bushfire scare brought to mind my maternal grandparents, Arthur and Harriet May Baxter, who were farmers on the South Arm of the Tweed River in northern New South Wales. I had heard family stories and I knew they had come close to losing their home to bushfires in the 1940s.

I talked to the only living member of the family, my mother’s youngest sister, who was only a child at the time, but she could still recall the frightening experience. She could not recall how many times but knew it was more than once and it was during World War II when all the young men of the district, including her brother, were away at war. That left the older men, women, and children to fight the fires.

A search of the local newspapers on Trove on the National Library of Australia website gave me more details of these fires. The first was in 1940.

 

Fires Rage In South Arm Area – Pastures Burnt Over Wide Area

The period of extremely dry weather experienced by the Tweed and Richmond districts for the past six months culminated yesterday in a serious outbreak of fire which destroyed valuable pastures over a wide area between Uki and Nimbin.

Tweed Daily (Murwillumbah, NSW : 1914 – 1949) ,Tue 5 Nov 1940 Page 2 , Fires Rage In South Arm Area

Extensive Damage from Fires

Grassland and Timber Destroyed at South Arm

Considerable damage was caused to grassland, fencing, timber, and roads from the grass and bushfires which raged through sections of the South Arm district on Monday and yesterday. Last night, while sections were still burning, it was stated that they were being watched carefully, and were under control. The southerly wind yesterday assisted the firefighters, who had been kept hard at work for many hours. Women helped the men at the arduous work.

The Tweed district has been enveloped in smoke since Monday, and the nearby hills have been practically obscured from view. The fires ravaged an area from Lilian Rock on the Kyogle Road to Uki, a distance of about 15 miles, and spread for varying distances from the road, through valuable pastures and timber. Some homesteads were endangered, but all were saved.

On Monday, after a report from the burning area, First-Class Constable McDonald and Constable  Fullwood, of Murwillumbah, and the Shire Engineer (Mr. A. L. Hornman) motored to Nimbin and Lillian Rock, where they met Constable Griffen, of Nimbin.

The trip to Lillian Rock and back to Murwillumbah by the police party was most uncomfortable, and at times hazardous, as the fire raged on both sides of the road and big trees were falling.

Clearing Roads

The party was expected back in Murwillumbah shortly after 1 o’clock yesterday morning, but it was not until after 5 o’clock that it was able to get through. The members were compelled ‘to clear the ‘road of fallen timber at frequent intervals, and at one point a large bloodwood, three feet in diameter, blocked their progress for some hours.

While some members walked through the blackened country for about three miles for a saw, one of the police officers set to work to cut through the big log.

Shire employees with a caterpillar tractor were sought to haul the timber off the road, and the gang was kept busy for many hours clearing a path for many other cars that were held up on various parts of the road.

With timber burning on both sides of the road throughout yesterday, many other trees fell and gangs will be employed to-day clearing the road. In places, the heat of the fires, which encroached to the sides of the road and the burning timber caused extensive damage to the bitumen surfacing.

Valuable Grassland Destroyed

It was estimated last night the fires had swept through at least 500 acres of grassland, and unless early rain falls the position in the South Arm district will be serious. Already there has been considerable movement of stock to the reaches of the river where more feed is available, while some owners have sought agistment in other parts of the Tweed district.

There were further outbreaks of fire yesterday and a close watch had to be maintained by owners, but it was stated last night that the position was well in hand. The fires raged throughout the day on Monday and many homesteads in the South Arm area were menaced.

The fire even encroached to within a short distance of the Church of England building at Kunghur, but was kept in check before any damage was done.

Traffic on the road between Uki and  Nimbin was dislocated on Monday through burning trees falling across, but little difficulty was experienced yesterday in getting through. No reports of serious damage to property have yet been received, although, fencing on many farms has been burnt. It was earlier reported that a house and outbuildings owned by Mr. C. Way at Byrrill Creek had been destroyed, but this was contradicted last night. It was stated that the fire got to within a short distance of the buildings but the firefighters managed to get it under control in time.

Fires in Forest

A thick, smoke haze could be seen over the Mebbin forestry area, but it has not been ascertained whether there has been any serious damage. Firefighters battled for six hours in the Whian forestry area on Monday night to get a big blaze under control.

It was stated last night that there were many blackened areas in the Midginbil, Kunghur and Mt. Burrell areas. where practically every available man helped to fight the fires on Monday.

A number of farm buildings was endangered when the fires, aided by a strong wind, ran swiftly through the pastures. In the Kunghur area, the blaze had to be fought to save the properties of Messrs. A. Baxter, C. McMahon and W. H. Taylor.

Tweed Daily (Murwillumbah, NSW : 1914 – 1949) Tue 12 Nov 1940 Page 2 Destruction Of 3,000 Acres

A young man was charged with arson under the Careless Use of Fire Act (1912). When all the evidence was laid out, none of the farmers chose to prosecute him.

The full story can be found here.

Tweed Daily (Murwillumbah, NSW : 1914 – 1949) Thu 14 Nov 1940 Page 8 Youth Fined £52 On Careless Use of Fire Act Charges

That was the first but not the last of the fires on the Home Front during World War II.

 

 

 

Baxter Cousins’ Day

Last Sunday was our ‘Baxter Cousin’s annual get-together at Murwillumbah, in Northern NSW. Although there were many of the regular attendees, there were a few new faces and some who had not attended for several years, due to employment commitments. Now recently retired they were happy to reconnect with their cousins in this way.

Sadly for various reasons, there were many who could not join us on this occasion. Ill health was on top of the list.

However, those who did attend remarked how much they always enjoyed these get-togethers and hoped I would continue to organize them in the future.

James and Elizabeth Baxter (nee Dixon) was this year’s ancestral couple, whose lives were researched and shared with the cousins.

A few of us chuckled about some of the children’s comments about no Ipads, TV and other gadgets. They couldn’t believe most people walked everywhere, sometimes great distances.

All were glad, even the adults, that they were not apprenticed at five to seven years of age to certain trades. Nor were they keen on the discipline expected of children in the Georgian Age in England.

We are hopeful everyone continues to be appreciative of the lives we are able to live in this Modern Age and the opportunities available to us.

Below: Original image from CafePress, retrieved from Google Images and used  4 March 2019

 

The venue has already been booked for 1st March 2020 in the expectation everyone will continue to make the effort to meet yet again, to catch up on family news and share more research and information on our Baxter ancestral families.

The Annual Family Get-Together “Cousin’s Day”

When I was a child growing up at Kunghur, a rural district in northern New South Wales, I was one of some twenty odd first cousins on my mother’s side, who lived near our maternal grandparents farm. We all went to the same small school, and had nearly daily contact with each other, even in the holidays.

Grandparents Home (2011)

However, in the 1950’s most of the families left the district as the fathers sort employment. Soon the families were spread throughout Queensland and New South Wales. For some years all the families made the supreme effort to return ‘home’ for Christmas. We all looked forward to this special family gathering.

As the years passed it was not always possible for everyone to ‘go home for Christmas’ and many of the families drifted apart. The only time anyone went ‘home’ or got together was for funerals and occasionally weddings.

Then in 2011 we had several family funerals, not only of my mother’s generation, but also of my generation.

We loved meeting up again after so many years, but were very aware of the fact, although funerals afforded us the opportunity to meet with each other, we also found it difficult in the sad circumstances.

Several of us made the decision to try and visit or at least meet more often. Thus our ‘Cousin’s Day’ was established. Now the first Sunday in March we meet at Murwillumbah for a few hours together.

Due to family situations and health issues not everyone can make it every year. However, it is such a happy occasion and has become so ‘special’ to us all, we do make every effort to be there if we possibly can.

The first Sunday in March was a couple of weeks ago and we had a most successful gathering of four generations of ‘cousins’ on our maternal side.

I must say one of the drawcards each year is the material I gather together on a particular ancestral couple and share with the cousins. Last year it was our Great-Grandparents James and Margaret Baxter (nee Kennedy) and this year it was our Great-Great-Grandparents George and Sarah Bell (nee Sargent).

As I introduce more than names and dates of our ancestors lives, the younger generations have become most interested in our family history, and are keen to share with their children. This is one way I am planning to save our ‘family history’ for and with family, for the future generations.

As I only share with family members, this material has become ‘valuable’ to the family and I have no doubt it will be handed on down throughout the generations and our history will continue to be enjoyed by ‘the family ‘for many years to come. .

Family Heirloom – The Chain-mail Purse

My mother, the fifth child and fourth daughter of Arthur and Harriet May Baxter was to be named ‘Margaret Alice’ in honour of her two grandmothers. Arthur’s mother had been, ‘Margaret Jane’, born 1858 to Gilbert and Ann Kennedy, and Harriet May’s mother ‘Alice’, was born in 1854 to Robert and Margaretta Sherwood.

 However, when my grandmother, Harriet May went to register the birth of her new daughter, at the Murwillumbah Court House, she gave her the name ‘Margaret Nola’.

 Having grown up with the story of how my mother was to be named for her grandmothers, but only received the name of her paternal grandmother, I asked my grandmother, Harriet May, why the change?

 She explained to me that she and Arthur had originally decided to name their fourth daughter after the grandmothers because although by this time Arthur’s mother had eight granddaughters, only one had been given the first name ‘Margaret’ and that granddaughter had died in an accident as an infant. One other had Margaret, as a second name.

 Harriet May’s mother had eleven granddaughters by this time. Only one had been given the name ‘Alice’, but it was used as a second name. The maternal grandmother wanted the ‘new’ grandchild given the name ‘Alice’ as an only name, like herself. However, my grandparents had privately decided to use it as a second name.

 My grandmother called at the Murwillumbah Court house to register her new daughter, shortly after being released from the Newbrae Private Hospital. However, when it came to the actual registration my grandmother used ‘Nola’ as the second name. My grandmother had two nieces, one on each side of the family named ‘Nola’, and she liked the name.

 I asked my grandmother, Harriet May, again, why the change?

Her reply was that she and Arthur had been engaged shortly before her seventeenth birthday, but her mother was set against the marriage and would never give her consent and blessings.

Arthur and Harriet May were married a week after ‘Harriet May’s’ twenty-first birthday.

Although her relationship with her mother was quite cordial in most ways, she could never quite forgive her for withholding consent and blessings for the marriage.

 My mother first met her grandparents in 1928 when she, her mother and baby sister, Joan, travelled by train to Sydney for Harriet May’s parents’ Golden Wedding Anniversary at Thirroul, on the South Coast of New South Wales.

Afterward, they went to Picton to visit Arthur’s parents, who had also celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary earlier in the year.

Left: My mother ‘Margaret Nola’ (left) with her Aunt Milly and cousins Phyllis and Heather, in the front garden of her paternal grandparent’s home, at Picton, October 1928

 

It was on this visit that Arthur’s mother,’ Margaret Jane’ gave her namesake granddaughter, ‘Margaret Nola’ a gift, in honour of the name. This was a small Victorian chain-mail purse, ‘to take her pennies to church in’. It was always one of my most mother’s prized possessions, and my sisters and I, when children, were never allowed to use it to carry our pennies to Sunday School and Church.

My mother didn’t know if her grandmother Margaret, had purchased it as a special gift, or if it had originally been her prized possession as a child. I have not been able to solve this question either.

 By the way, there are thirty grandchildren on my maternal side. Seventeen are female and not one was named ‘Margaret’ or ‘Alice’, which was most unusual for the time.

PS: The ‘sixpences’ in the above photograph were used by my family for many years as the ‘pudding’ money at Christmas. They were kept in a little cigarette tin and wrapped in the calico cloth used to make the ‘boiled’ pudding for Christmas Day.

Oh! The funny stories and laughter those coins evoke each time I look at them.